Wedding reception games that get both sides of the room talking

Every wedding has the same seating plan problem. One side of the room has known the bride since primary school; the other has known the groom since his first job. They are lovely people, they have a lot in common, and left alone they will talk to the people they came with. Reception games are the polite way to fix that: a reason for your aunt to talk to his flatmates that isn't "so, how do you know the couple?"

Here is what works at each of the three gaps in a wedding day (the photos, the courses and the evening), the games we host ourselves, the classics worth keeping, and when it is worth having someone run them for you. The short version of what we do is on our wedding page.

The three gaps where games earn their place

While the photos are taken. The drinks reception is the longest unplanned stretch of the day: often an hour or more of canapés while the couple are in a field with the photographer. It is also when the two sides of the room are at their most separate. Mixers go here.

Between courses. Everyone is seated, nobody can wander off, and there is a natural ten minutes after each plate is cleared. A table game goes here, and the couple's quiz is the best one.

In the evening. After the speeches and before the dancing properly starts, there is a lull while the room changes over and the evening guests arrive. That is where the louder games go.

You don't need all three. One good game in the right gap does more than five that fight the timetable.

While the photos are taken: mixers

The aim is to get people talking across the two sides, not to win anything. Keep it light, keep it optional, and make sure it works with a glass in one hand.

• Find the guest. A card for each guest with a grid of squares: "has known one of the couple for more than twenty years", "travelled the furthest to be here", "was there the night they met", "can name the couple's first holiday together". Each square needs a different guest's name. The trick is to write squares only the other side can answer, so his friends have to find her family. A prize for the first full card, announced at dinner.
• The map. A big map near the bar and a pot of stickers or pins: put one where you live, or where you met the couple. People stand around it and start "oh, we're from there too" conversations without being told to.
• Lawn games, with a rain plan. Giant Jenga, quoits, a croquet set if the venue has one. They work because they give people something to stand around. In Britain, have an indoor corner ready.

Our hosted version, added to the day, is 60 to 90 minutes of hosted mixers while the photos are taken, so the two sides of the room meet.

Between courses: the couple's quiz

A quiz about the two of you, played by table. It works because every table has someone who knows the answer to some of it, and nobody knows all of it: her school friends know where she grew up, his brother knows what he was like at nineteen, and the table has to pool it.

• Ten questions, written by the couple, checked by someone else. "Where was the first date?", "Who said 'I love you' first?", "What was the first film they saw together?", "Who is the better cook, according to the other one?"
• Half for each side. Five questions her people will know, five his will. Mixed tables then have to talk to each other to win.
• Kind, not clever. No exes, no stag-do stories, nothing a grandparent would need explaining. The best man's speech is the place for risk; the quiz isn't.
• Swap sheets to mark between tables, and read the answers out with the couple at the top table confirming them. The arguments are half the fun.
• A prize for the winning table: the first go at the dessert table, or the leftover table wine.

The shoe game is the classic quick version: the couple sit back to back, each holding one of their own shoes and one of the other's, and raise the shoe of whoever is "more likely to" in answer to the MC's questions. Five minutes, no paperwork, and it works for a room of any size.

In the evening: Blind Pick and Star Turn

These are the two evening games we bring to weddings, the same ones we run at our own nights.

Star Turn is our take on the karaoke talent show. A costume box, a stage (or the end of the dancefloor), and a run of songs the whole room can sing along to. There are duets for anyone who would rather not go up alone, which is how you get the uncles up. Ten minutes of it before the band or the DJ starts and the dancefloor is never empty again.

Blind Pick is our take on the blindfolded dating game show. One volunteer sits in a sparkly blindfold, a few contenders answer their questions, and they choose on the answers alone. At a wedding it suits the singles table, or a couple who agree to play it entirely for laughs. The room votes with its noise.

Both need a microphone and a speaker, and both need a host who will keep it moving and keep it kind. That is the difference between a game and a dare.

The classics, done well

• A speech sweepstake. Everyone guesses how long the best man will speak, written on a card at their place. Closest wins. It turns the speeches into a game and gives the best man a reason to be brief.
• Table photo challenges. A list of five photos per table ("a picture with someone from the other side of the family", "the oldest and youngest guest together") on everyone's phones, shared to one album. The couple get photos the photographer didn't take.
• Speed Drawing. One of our quiz rounds: a teammate draws the prompt for their table to guess, ten seconds a drawing, and the first table to get all ten wins. A pad and a pen per table, and it works between any two courses.
• A guestbook question. Instead of "best wishes", one question on each card: "What should they do on their first anniversary?" Read the best ones out in the evening.

When a toastmaster or MC helps

Games need someone to run them. At a small wedding the best man or a confident friend can do it. The bigger the room, the harder it gets, for three reasons.

• Someone has to hold the timings. The caterers want the room seated, the photographer wants ten more minutes, the band want to know when to start. An MC keeps them in step so the games happen in the gaps and not on top of the dinner.
• Someone has to explain the game in thirty seconds. A game that takes five minutes to explain is dead before it starts. That is a hosting skill, and it is what we do at every quiz night and games night we host.
• The person running it can't enjoy it. Your best friend should be at the table, not counting quiz sheets.

Our wedding prices: the day, with an MC and toastmaster from the ceremony to the first dance and a couple's quiz between courses, is £750; the day plus evening games is £1,250; evening games on their own are £650; and reception games, added to the day, are £450. Get Social is not VAT registered, so the price you see is the whole price. Travel outside London is extra.

If you are planning the games yourself, our guide to how to host a quiz night covers the marking and the pace, and how to approach strangers at social gatherings is worth sending to the shy side of the family. Planning a work do as well? Games for a work party has fifteen more.